FAQ - couple’s counselling

Couples counselling with Wendy Brewer

What to expect:

Some people fear that when they come to couple’s counselling, their relationship will be assessed and blame will be assigned. Nothing could be further from the truth!

I see my role as that of a communication facilitator. My job is to assist you both to be able to express yourselves kindly and effectively and to listen to each other with compassion, so that you can regain connection and resolve your relationship issues.

Will communication facilitation help or make things worse between us?

I can understand and appreciate this concern. You may be thinking “what if we start talking and one or both of us says something that damages our relationship?”

I want to reassure you that sessions with me will follow a planned format which is designed to bring about honest communication in a way that protects and enhances your relationship, rather than damaging it.

How do we know if we have a communication problem in our relationship or if it is something else?

Here are 6 signs that your relationship problems are communication problems.

1.       You have the same argument again and again and never seem to be able to come to a resolution.

2.       One of you does a lot of talking while the other shuts down, nothing gets resolved.

3.       You’ve stopped talking about issues that are important, you just ignore them.

4.       You argue over small things that probably shouldn’t matter but you can’t seem to reach a resolution and resentment is building.

5.       The same past events keep getting brought up, over and over, you can’t seem to resolve them.

6.       You seem to be drifting apart, living together but not really operating as a couple, intimacy is lacking in your relationship.

If any one or more of these are occurring, communication training and practise will be of benefit to you.

(Sometimes, the issue is not one that communication facilitation will be able to resolve, if there is abusive behaviour taking place in the relationship, I will refer you to some organisations that may be able to help).

Will it work?

I wish I could give out guarantees! Unfortunately, the answer is that I just don’t know what the outcome of our sessions will be. What I do know is that you will both learn skills that you will be able to use in every relationship you have, for the rest of your life.

What if we decide to break up?

If it becomes clear to one or both of you that the relationship has ended, I can assist you to communicate with each other and reach agreements in order for the break-up to be handled as wisely and maturely as possible, hopefully reducing the pain both for yourselves and any children who are in your care.

 How many sessions do we need?

The recommended communication facilitation programme consists of 6 sessions, each 90 minutes in length. We will meet each fortnight.

Depending on your circumstances, you may choose to attend more or less than the recommended six sessions.

Phone consultation

Before your first session, we will have a free 15 min phone consultation to answer any questions you may have.

How much does it cost?

All sessions are 90 minutes and are priced at $230 each.

All sessions must be paid in advance.

How do we book?

To book please send a text message with the time that suits you best to 0408 799 061.

Why choose Imago Couple’s Counselling

When was researching the couple’s counselling training I wanted to pursue, Imago Relationship Therapy stood out to me as the obvious choice.

When you see relationship therapy on TV or online, the sessions mostly consist of each person speaking to the therapist, they actually rarely speak to each other during the session.

Imago is different. Most of your Imago session will be spent speaking to each other. Don’t worry! The conversation, (which we call a dialogue in Imago), is guided by myself.

I will assist you to practise active, deep listening and honest, warm, open communication so that each dialogue feels safe to each of you, whilst still being able to express yourself and your deepest concerns.

In the first session especially we will focus on positive communication. One of you is assigned the role of listener, the other of speaker. I help the speaker to know how to start by giving them sentences to finish. An example of some are: “One thing I appreciate about you is………”. “What I want for us in our relationship is………….” “How I want to feel in our relationship is…………”

What I love about Imago is that you are learning real life communication skills during the session. We don’t just speak about your relationship we resolve them DURING the session.

My aim is that you will finish the session feeling that you understand each other more, have reconnected and have a plan for behaviour change to practise until our next session.

How well does online couple’s counselling work?

In order to keep my rates affordable and to be able to offer couple’s counselling to everyone in Australia and New Zealand, regardless of your location, I currently work only online, via zoom.

My experience and that of my couples is that it works extremely well!

One of the many benefits of Imago Relationship Therapy, is that most of each session consists of a facilitated conversation between the two of you. As you are mainly speaking to each other, rather than to me, I don’t need to be in the room with you, in fact, many couples find that they prefer it this way.

You will spend most of the session facing each other (with as much eye contact as is comfortable for you) engaging in an open, honest, intimate conversation with each other. I am simply a voice in the room, guiding you in the conversation and assisting to create a safe communication ‘bubble’ between you.

The fact that you can do your sessions in the comfort and privacy of your own home, with no travel time or cost, is the added bonus of online sessions.

Resource Therapy for depression

As a Resource Therapist, I take a comforting and I hope, quite reassuring, view of depression. Rather than diagnose you as “depressed” I will explain that it can be more helpful to think of yourself as having many different parts. One part of you is experiencing deep sadness, grief or disappointment and, for the moment, that part of you is in charge. When that part takes over your psyche every day tasks such as work, looking after your home or family become difficult. Experiencing a sense of joy or happiness can feel impossible.

I believe this is a comforting view of depression because it is not “you” that is depressed, rather there is a part of you that is carrying the depressed feelings. In Resource Therapy we believe that every part of you is ‘good’ and that every part of you is trying to help you in some way.

Examining, in session, why this part of you is carrying these heavy feelings and what purpose this may serve can go a long way to helping the depressed feelings to be resolved.

Sometimes the underlying reason for the depressed feelings is unresolved trauma. Resource Therapy offers safe, gentle and effective methods of addressing and reducing the debilitating effects of traumatic experiences so that you can once again, or, perhaps for the very first time, experience feelings of joyful aliveness and ease of living.

Please text me on phone number 0408 799 061 to book a free 15 minute phone chat to find out more.